Day 40

Wow I haven't written here since day 23 and it's already day 40. I thought I would put on paper some of the things I have learned going through this fast.

1) Dependence on God is a moment by moment commitment on my part. One minute I say "God I'm going to depend on you this day," and the very next struggle I face I'm forgetting that commitment. Fasting helped me in a very real way to remember that commitment to depend on Him.

2) As I depended on God I became more aware of Him, my sin nature and my need for him. I don't really like being human. I look forward to the day when I will be like Him, leaving my sin nature behind. It will be amazing to worship Him in spirit and truth as He is meant to be worshiped. I know I will have to wait until Heaven for that day, so I will wait and anticipate it like I anticipate chocolate. Think there will be chocolate in Heaven? If not there will be something greater to take it's place, of this I'm sure.

3) I have become more aware of the need to work on every aspect of my life. My marriage to my wonderful husband. I don't know what I would do without him, he means so much to me, even when I get upset with him I can't imagine life without him.

My children, wow God just keeps on blessing and blessing my undeserving heart. I have great kids, what can I say? I can't imagine my life without them either. I love seeing them grow into Godly children, following His lead, that's been my prayer all along. I'm so proud of them. I learn so much from them. "Thanks God for teaching me through my children. May I always be open to learning from them."

Our finances, We have dishonored God in so many ways with the misuse of the funds He has so generously given us throughout our married life. We are working on getting out of debt so that we can honor God with the money He has blessed us with.

I really believe my focus has been sharpened in those areas of my life with this fast.

3). I have become aware of what I can do without in the food chain. By day 30 I wasn't at all hungry during the day. I think that I will try to continue much of what I have done with this fast. We had no meat at all and boy I didn't think I could ever live without it. No caffeine, it wasn't a piece of cake, that one.

I think I want to try to keep much of this fast going even when it's over because it will help me to continue to remember God and depend on Him. Pastor Ivan talked today about the scouring of Jesus and asked the question what will we do to be faithful to Jesus? This is one of the ways I will try to be faithful.

Father God, I want so much to be faithful to you. Help me to live each moment in dependence on you and help me to remember the enormous sacrifice you made on my behalf. Thank you for the agony your suffered, thank you for the cross, pain for you, redemption for me, thank you for the sacrifice.