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Sunday, March 28, 2010

Day 40

Wow I haven't written here since day 23 and it's already day 40. I thought I would put on paper some of the things I have learned going through this fast.

1) Dependence on God is a moment by moment commitment on my part. One minute I say "God I'm going to depend on you this day," and the very next struggle I face I'm forgetting that commitment. Fasting helped me in a very real way to remember that commitment to depend on Him.

2) As I depended on God I became more aware of Him, my sin nature and my need for him. I don't really like being human. I look forward to the day when I will be like Him, leaving my sin nature behind. It will be amazing to worship Him in spirit and truth as He is meant to be worshiped. I know I will have to wait until Heaven for that day, so I will wait and anticipate it like I anticipate chocolate. Think there will be chocolate in Heaven? If not there will be something greater to take it's place, of this I'm sure.

3) I have become more aware of the need to work on every aspect of my life. My marriage to my wonderful husband. I don't know what I would do without him, he means so much to me, even when I get upset with him I can't imagine life without him.

My children, wow God just keeps on blessing and blessing my undeserving heart. I have great kids, what can I say? I can't imagine my life without them either. I love seeing them grow into Godly children, following His lead, that's been my prayer all along. I'm so proud of them. I learn so much from them. "Thanks God for teaching me through my children. May I always be open to learning from them."

Our finances, We have dishonored God in so many ways with the misuse of the funds He has so generously given us throughout our married life. We are working on getting out of debt so that we can honor God with the money He has blessed us with.

I really believe my focus has been sharpened in those areas of my life with this fast.

3). I have become aware of what I can do without in the food chain. By day 30 I wasn't at all hungry during the day. I think that I will try to continue much of what I have done with this fast. We had no meat at all and boy I didn't think I could ever live without it. No caffeine, it wasn't a piece of cake, that one.

I think I want to try to keep much of this fast going even when it's over because it will help me to continue to remember God and depend on Him. Pastor Ivan talked today about the scouring of Jesus and asked the question what will we do to be faithful to Jesus? This is one of the ways I will try to be faithful.

Father God, I want so much to be faithful to you. Help me to live each moment in dependence on you and help me to remember the enormous sacrifice you made on my behalf. Thank you for the agony your suffered, thank you for the cross, pain for you, redemption for me, thank you for the sacrifice.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Day 23

Pretty much hungry all the time! Even about 2 hours after I eat dinner which is very low in calories, I get hungry again.

During these times of hunger I can't help but think about Jesus and His 40 days spent in the desert. I have brought this passage up in another blog, but it really resonates with me so I would like to expound on it a little.

The Bible says that after 40 days He was hungry, it also sounds like He was kept alive supernaturally having nothing to eat or drink. At His most vulnerable time, when He is most famished is when Satan appears.

Isn't that the truth, Satan appears when we are most vulnerable and he attacks us in the weakest areas of our lives. When we give in to that attack, it is then that we are left alone with our guilt and shame. Some people remain in that state not realizing that God understands our misery and when we confess He is quick to forgive us our sins.

Isaiah 43:25 "I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins.

What we need to remember is that we don't have to give in to Satan and sin. Jesus knows how to resist Satan. We on our own can't resist him but with the power of the King of kings and Lord of lords we can walk away from any temptation.

This fast has shown me that I can be strong in the Lord. Allow me to share an example of this. I made Chocolate Chip Cookies the other day and while I was making them I wasn't tempted. However, being in the house alone during the day the temptation to have "just one" is great. The two things that stop me is knowing how guilty and sad I would feel if I gave in and thinking of how I want to do this fast for Jesus. It's not that I have to in order to gain points but I desire to because of what He did for me.

Jesus knows my heart and He places there the tools that help me to resist the need to "eat the cookie." Ha...so there Satan, you lose this time and with God's help the next time too! :) To God be the glory!!

1 Peter 5:8-9 "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world."

We all share the same temptations and sin nature. Let's hold each other up in prayer calling out to God to help us resist Satan and all his temptations. Be confident that God hears our prayers and is faithful to answer.

Prayer: Pray with me that we can resist the urgings of Satan so that we may live freely, the life that God has planned for us. Thanks!

Friday, March 5, 2010

day 16

Well...hungry all day which is good because it reminds me of God and the reason why I'm fasting. God asks us to remember Him, every minute of every day.

"These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 6:6-7

We are to begin each day with God. With each breath we should remember that our Father has given us life to serve him. Do we talk to our children about the Lord? At home, when we go places, when we lie down and get up? Or do we wait for Sunday and leave it up to our church's to teach them. Are we living out what Deuteronomy 6:6-7 states so that our children see our faith and believe? In other words are we walking the talk?

Please don't think that I am ripping on anyone because this is the question I ask myself, I'm the worst at living up to the truth of the scriptures.

Let's hold each other accountable to this truth. Let us become families that love the Lord so much that when people look at us they see the difference in us and they glorify God because of it.

Father, help me to live like I believe. Help me to have the faith and commitment it takes to live like I love you, like your my best friend rather than a vague acquaintance. Pour out your love on us in these last days, bring revival to this parched and dry land, let us not rest until we rest in you.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

Prayer: For revival, for a strengthening in faith for all of us who claim Jesus as Savior.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Day 14

Haven't done this in a while. I'm not really hungry during the day anymore, if I drink my juice. If I don't than I do get hungry. I find that I'm cold all the time, it's hard to get warm, I tend to take hot baths before bed.

I sure have a hard time with anger. I got so angry the other day, I could have burst. It makes me sad when I lose it like that. The thing is the anger lasts a moment than I get sad, than I have to confess it and tell the person I was angry at that I'm sorry. Anger is something that
is a part of the human condition. The Bible has a lot to say about it.

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27

A man of quick temper acts foolishly,and a man of evil devices is hated.
-Proverbs 14:17

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
—Proverbs 15:1

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
Proverbs 15:18
There is so much more, but this is the one I like best:

Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name. For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
—Psalm 30:4-5

and also this:

The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in
steadfast love.
—Psalm 145:8

Thank you God, I am so grateful that you don't hold my anger against me. I'm grateful that you are slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
Help me to be more like you Lord. Help me to be slow to anger and abounding in love. In Jesus Name, Amen

Prayer: That I can hold my tongue and my anger and that I can more fully love those around me. Thanks!

P.S. Almost done with the letter. I used some verses that I know by heart so I just have to look them up and put in the book, chapter and verse which unfortunately I don't know by heart. :) . I plan to send it off sometime before Friday.